it seemed like a good idea at the time...

oh my gosh, I wish I had a picture to show you because describing this is not going to do any justice to what transpired....last Saturday, Mike let me cut his hair. His hair was really long and I'd been bugging him for a few weeks to get a haircut but he always said he was too busy, or he forgot. His hair was just ridiculous. So he was over on Saturday for dinner (we had a fancy dinner with Melissa's priest friend so we invited mike so there would be more y chromosomes in the room) and after dinner, it was only like 9:30, so still early but we were all tired from entertaining and cleaning and stuff so we talked about maybe watching a movie. I joked to Mike, why don't I cut your hair? and he said, "have you ever cut hair before?" I said, "no, but I can watch a youtube video" he said "okay, do you have clippers or scissors?" so i borrowed some from Ian. It started off okay I trimmed down the back and the top (which was slightly epic because Mike is particular about his balding hair/receding hairline, but it actually looks the best. I'm proud of the top and front of his hair). Then came the clippers. On the video, the girl used clippers to do the back and around the ears. The back was okay cause I had to shave the hair off his neck (boys are hairy there-so weird!) and then i attempted the ears. As I'm going, I'm getting more and more confident and Theresa and Mel are saying how impressed they are and how nice it looks and Mel even asked if I would trim her hair for her later! So I was getting cocky and I had something that was electric in my hands....so the hair around his ears is a bit short and I may have taken a chunk out of one side...oh it looks awful! But at least now I can't complain that he needs a haircut and I can't say that it looks goofy because I'm the one the did it to him. I wish I had a picture of his nice little bald spot. I like to rub it for good luck. Hopefully things will grow out in a couple weeks and then he can get a real haircut and next time he complains about needing a haircut, I can offer to do it for free.

gah

as I stare at this blank page, so many thoughts run through my mind. I hate feeling like I can't do anything about how I feel. I don't know if I want to punch a wall or cry or scream, or a combination of all three. I see and understand with my mind, but my heart feels abandoned....in the words of John Green "The sound of my anxiety is like.....AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

light in the darkness

the last few days we have had no power in half of our house. one of the rooms without power was the bathroom. normally this wouldn't be too bad but our bathroom DOES NOT have a window so everything in there is dark. pitch dark. it makes everything so much harder to do. Fortunately we had some lantern type flashlights which aided in the bathroom business. this got me to thinking about how light and dark are at play in our lives.

Living with the darkness

I realized how much stuff/ darkness that I just live with. I wasn't too concerned about the fact that I had to do everything by candlelight/ flashlight, but when the lights finally came back on it made things so much easier. What areas of my life am I willing to live in the dimness?

The light is so bright!

when the light is on it's easier to see all the mess and crap in life so it can seem easier to live in the darkness. We don't want to deal with our failings, problems and weaknesses, but when we leave them in the dark, we tend to bump into them a lot more than when the light is on.

Selfish vs selfless

when it seems dark it can be easier to have a "woe is me" mentality. we don't want to look for the light in the darkness. it's too hard to look for hope because we need to get out of ourselves. we need to die to the selfishness that makes us want to wallow in self pity, hopelessness or despair and seek the light. When we look outside of ourselves and to the hope of Christ, we will find that it is indeed not all about us, but about how through Jesus' suffering, death and resurrection we are able to live in the light of the love of God.

well, my computer is about to die so I'm going to take that as a sign to say goodnight and God Bless

still alive

jfodpfnlsdkfnslfkmsdkfmsdf//

i tried writing a post 3 times, now i am tired and can't think straight. I guess I will tell you that I am still alive and that I like cookies :)

He heals those broken hearts

midterm time means...a return to blogging! horray! I really want to have a poem here, but I have not written anything in weeks. SHAME! next time you see me, remind me how much I love writing and that I am doing myself a disservice by not writing, even if it is just for my personal enjoyment. I mean, last night, I got up and sang in front of a group of people who were my friends. Mind you I sang with two other awesome singers, and then with the boyfriend, but still, I do not remember the last time I got up and sang in front of a group of people where my voice could be discernibly heard (that was not Mass, cause mass is praisin' Jesus!). I really hope that my writing can praise the Lord, but it can't if I don't share it, hence this blog. Okay, so I'm going to share a psalm I interpreted while I was on NET. I meant it to grab my other journal but this is the one I came up with so....

Psalm 147

How good is it to praise You
To sing to our God with sweet song
How great it is to celebrate our God
With joy we sing Your name

With His mighty hand
The Lord, His cities rebuilds
So too He heals those broken hearts
And gently binds their wounds

The countless stars, He knows each by name
And calls them to shine
Limitless in power is our great God
His wisdom is measureless

In His mercy, the Lord lifts up the poor
But rebukes the wicked to the ground

Dear Blog...

haha, so I'm watching Dear John right now and really it should be called Dear Yawn. GOSH that kind of makes me feel better about my life, at least it's not as lame as this movie. Oh Nicholas Sparks, this is not one of your masterpieces. The upside it has good music. which is delighting my ears just as the smell of my awesome stew is tickling my nose and taste buds.

The last few weeks have been pretty tough emotionally. I've been lacking in motivation for life...Oh I have a reading...whatever...oh I have a talk to right....sure thing...later...investing in people....nah....I just want to sleep and sleep and sleep...maybe forever.

idontcareidontcareidontcareidontcare anymore.

Jesus, please show me how to care again

I get by with a little help from my friends

This is not a good start, I didn't blog last week. I promise to make it up to everyone by posting one more time this week if we can all just pretend that this blog post was posted yesterday! Horray! now that we're all in agreement, I don't really have anything else to say. I've been feeling pretty down lately, but in that sadness, there has been great consolation. It's weird, because even when I'm hiding from life and feeling crappy, I also strongly feel the arms of my Father wrapped around me. He's been particularly blessing me with lots of quality time with one of my beautiful roommates who has been such a joy to me this past week. As well, there's been a few jam sessions so that's helping that particular goal be fulfilled. I'm adding one more to the list-that is to get back into the habit of going to mass one other day of the week (besides Sunday). I've been lacking that in the last two weeks and I can tangibly see and feel how it is affecting me. The graces received by participating in the Eucharist are INCREDIBLE! So after you read this, GO TO MASS!!! hahaha, that's exactly what I'm going to be doing :)

goals

ok, i haven't written in over a month, albeit, an extremely crazy month, but still no excuse is a good excuse. So I thought I would start off this year right with a few new resolutions, aka goals for 2011:

1. Write in this blog at least once a week. This gives me an outlet from the craziness of school and life and is not as personal as my prayer journal. this blog is where i can vent some of the "non" important aspects in life so i had better use it

2. do my readings for class. it's important, i'm in fourth year (eep) so i should just stay on top of them.

3. get my drivers license. this is a long time coming and i'm sure it will make many people happy

4.play more music. i got a flute for christmas so i need to practice it more to remember everything. but in this as well, not be afraid to make mistakes when im just jamming with friends. who cares if i don't know how to do something? my friends don't so why should i?

there. now they're out in the open so i can't reneg on them. wish me luck my friends.